My Immortal by Tara (Properly Beta'd)
by ThunderingRainbow
Summary: Someone created their dream of a story, placing themselves in Harry Potter. A girl looking for the attention she deserved. I don't know if she truly cut, or wanted to die, but I do know this. She had every right to post her story, and her beta-reader is as much at fault as she is. No one has the right to judge this girl. She was only trying to write, to escape reality. Who doesn't?
1. What is this?

**_I read this fanfiction, called My Immortal, and I felt that people were being cruel in the way they treated Tara, the girl who wrote it. So, one chapter will be that original chapter, and the one immediatly following will be my version of what she was saying, not altering the plot in any way. I'm tottaly fine if people start hating on me about this. Just leave Tara alone. Please favorite if you agree with me. Thank you for being considerite of other's work, I know that every one of you try really hard. Sometimes, it just doesn't come out the way you want it to. This girl wasn't trolling, she was calling out for help. She was all over the fact that she cut, going as far to show herself through Ebony. Calling an OC who is the main character a bad thing isn't okay. "Mary Sue's" do not exsist, people just want less OC's. Notice in most stories, the amount of OC imteraction is going down. Be respectful to those who's idea of fanfiction is a little different than yours. People are fine when it the reader's point of view, but it's horrid to have an OC be like that. This rant is my first chapter because I want you to understand why I'm doing this. It's not to mock Tara, it's to support her. I have friends in her shoes, maybe some of you do too. I almost started cutting a couple months ago, but couldn't do it. I told myself that I was ugly enough without the scars. I told myself everyday in the mirror that I was ugly, no matter how many of my friends or family said I was pretty. Sometimes, life just hurts, and some people want help, so they search for it in a way such as Tara's. They go through the trouble of creating their perfect looking them, but with the same personality. Honestly, most of us writers do. We want ourselves in the story, we want to make our perfect world. Mostly, we want to be loved. There are many different approaches to this, but most of them are shot down by, as Tara called them, preps. Attention is an important reason we write. We want others to see us, to know of us, to like us. Not everyone knows how to do this, maybe Tara is one of them. Oh, by the way, I'm confused on one thing. How is writing a fanfiction trolling, but the evil and mean reviews that come with it are not? Many people on here, myself included, misspell common words, some more than others. Also, you must understand Tara's point of view. Maybe she didn't have a lot of time to write, and therefore shortened all the words she could, even if it meant misspelling them. Sure, some are really out there, like "goffik," but maybe that's how she has learned it. Not every writing source has spell-check either. If anyone writes a single rude review to this story, I swear, I will report you. That does not include if you are giving me courteous advice on one of MY chapters, where you can leave me helpful tips on how to improve my writing. There is no such thing as a bad fanfiction. Only mean people._**

**_I'm not seeking attention by doing this, but I would like to inform you that this girl deserves to be recognized, not scorned. She is obviously trying to add some humor to the writing, with her little side notes. And, Dumbledore is a hard name to spell, and if you're typing fast you could hit the wrong key. This girl is an angel, a hero. She continued the story for a long time, even after people assaulted her with cruelty. If you were one of those people, than I want you to never come near my fictions again. This is someone's life you ruined. The golden rule still rings true. Treat others the way you want to be treated. So simple, yet no one seems willing to do so. I do. If you treated someone else's writing like shit, than you deserve to be treated that way as well. I want people to like me, so I promise to never be negative to anyone. Please respect the art of literature, and allow everyone one to write as they please. You can too._**

**_I love you all, but you have to understand I can't let something like this go untouched._**

**_See yaz,_**

**_Thelma, A.K.A _**


	2. Original Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). [[I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!


	3. Edited Chapter 1

_**So this is an edited chapter one. No new shit was added, but the context was redone to make a little more sense. Please realize this story is good, it just needed the proper editing. Tara, I hope you're reading this. You are the one who rocks.**_

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><p><em>AN: Special fangs (get it, because I'm gothic?) to my friend, Raven, aka bloodytearz666, for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin, you are the love of my depressing life, you rock too! My Chemical Romance ROCKS!<em>

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, a seventeen year old goth. I have waist-long ebony-black hair, which is the reason for my name. It is streaked with purple and has crimson red tips. My eyes are an icy blue, like limpid tears. A lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee, and if you don't know who that is, I feel sorry for you. I'm not related to Gerard Way at all, but I wish I was because he's a MAJOR FUCKING HOTTIE. I'm a vampire, but my canines are straight and white, unstained by any blood. My skin is as pale as a ghost, white and devoid of any blemishes. I also happen to be a witch, and consequently go to a magic school called Hogwarts. It is located in England, and I am beginning my seventh year at the school. I wear mostly black, and buy all of my clothes from Hot Topic.

The uniforms at Hogwarts are no longer required, so today, I am wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt. To go with it, I also have on pink fish nets and black combat boots. Black lipstick, white foundation, thick black eyeliner, and red eye shadow completed my outfit.

It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. I walked aroud the courtyard, and lot of preps stared at me, so I flipped them off. I'm not scared of who I am.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice from inside the open halls enclosing the yard. I looked up, and standing between columns was…. Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked, looking confidently up at his face even though my stomach was fluttering.

"Nothing." he said, not meeting my gaze. I was about to begin a conversation with him, but behind me I heard my friends for me.

"Sorry Draco, I have to go. See ya' later!" With that, I smiled at him before turning around and running over to my friends.

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_AN: Is it any good? Please tell me in the reviews! Fangs!_


	4. Original Chapter 2

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. "Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	5. Edited Chapter 2

_AN: Fangs to bloodytearz666 for helping me with this chapter! Oh, and by the way, preps stop flaming my story, okay?! Willow in this story represents my girl, Raven!_

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The next day, when I woke up, it was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and after standing, opened up a bottle of processed blood, made by the school just for vampires like me. My coffin was made of black poplar, and was sanded down until is was soft as silk, then coated with a clear lacquer to give it a nice finish. The inside was lined hot pink velvet, and dainty black lace edged the soft fabric. I stood from my coffin and stripped myself of my pajamas, which was only my oversized My Chemical Romance shirt. Going to my dresser, I pulled out a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fish nets. The dress gripped my form, showing off my every curve. I admired myself in the mirror before I put on four pairs of earrings and through my hair up in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow groaned at me because I had woken her up. Looking up at me with her forest-green eyes, she gave me a groggy smile before swinging her feet off of her bed. She flipped her waist-length hair. It was raven black and streaked with a striking pink. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black miniskirt that had little flares at the end, multi-colored fish nets, and high-heeled boots with pointed toes. We put on our makeup together. It consisted of our normal array of black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner.

"So I noticed you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday," she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"O. M. F. G. You like Draco, don't you?!" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No, I so fucking don't!" I growled at her.

"Yeah right!" she giggled. Just then, the boy of our discussion walked up to me.

"Hi." he said, and just like yesterday, he refused to meet my eyes.

"Hi." I replied. I waved my fingers at his in a flirtatious greeting.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked, intrigued.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. "I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR, of course."

"Well…um...I...would you...do you want to go with me?" He was stumbling over his words, and it was kind of cute.

"Are you for real?!" I gaped at him in wonder.

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><p><em><strong>Hey, so I know these are still really short, but I do not want to alter her story. So far, no one has "flammed" me, or even posted a review in general, so I think I'm doing okay. Love you Tara (ew, not in that way XD)<strong>_


	6. Original Chapter 3

_**AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.**_

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!


	7. Edited Chapter 3

_**Welcome to Chapter three! I really do try to save the plot of her story, because the plot is great, I just think she needed a little more help getting there. Still, please review if you want. I don't care what you have to say, you are just awful if you hate this story enough to make it get deleted off the site.**_

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><p><strong>AN: STOP FLAMING THE STORY PREPS, OK?! Otherwise fangs to the gothic people for the good reviews! FANGS AGAIN RAVEN! Oh yeah, by the way, I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.<strong>

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up heels, and underneath I had slipped on ripped red fishnets. I adjusted the corset strings on my black leather mini-dress. Fisnets matching the ones on my legs also covered my arms. I straightened my hair and then, using a little hair spray, made it look all spiky. My depression had led me to slit my wrists, and I got bored waiting for the bleeding to stop. I couldn't do anything with a bleeding wrist. I read a depressing book, The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, in one hand, which turned out to be harder than I thought, and I listened to some GC. I redid the black polish on my nails, and put on a thick band of eyeliner. I finished the look by putting on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was paler then usual anyway after the blood lost from my recently cut wrists. I drank some human blood from my special bottle, and I was ready to go to the concert.

I stepped outside, feeling anxious. Draco was waiting there, leaning on the hood of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt, because they would open the show, a pair of baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner, which was very fashionable in Hogwarts.

"Hi Draco!" I said in my normal, monotone, depressing way.

"Hi Ebony." he said back, a tad more excited than me. When I reached him, he walked to the passenger side and opened the door for me. I blushed at the gesture, and ducked my head slightly so he wouldn't see it. I stepped into the car, Draco shuting the door behind me. He walked back to the driver's seat and started up the Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson, laughing as we both smoked cigarettes and bud. When we got there, we extinguished both of our joints and hopped out of the car. We listened to Good Charlotte, screaming along, dancing around in the mosh pit.

"She sets you free into this life

And where do you go?

With no destination, no map to guide you

Wouldn't you know

That it doesn't matter, we all end up the same" sang Joel, driving all the fans crazy as he came near the front of the stage.

"Joel is soooo fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice. Draco looked sad, and I got really confused.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on to what was happening.

"Hey, I don't like him better than YOU!" I shouted over the noise.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer, hanging out by the vendors. We got GC concert tees and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. I'm never going to wear or wash that shirt. It's getting framed on my wall. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, and we drove back towards the school.

"Uh… Draco, the school is right there, you just passed it," I said.

"I know," was his only answer.

"Then turn around, idiot!"

Draco didn't answer, and didn't go back into Hogwarts. Instead he drove the car into the nearby trees known as The Forbidden Forest.

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><p><em><strong>Yeah, still no reviews, so hope no one is hating me right now...<strong>_


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